What we say and how we say it is a reflection of our thoughts and belief systems. Words are energy. They have a vibration and the energy and vibration of the words affects not only who we are talking to, but who we are talking about as well as ourselves and the results we create in our lives.
When we talk we are either speaking words that create increase or decrease. When someone is focused on negative, limited thinking they will speak in the language that creates decrease. It usually entails thoughts of , “why me?” “I never get a break” and “life is hard!”. They are constantly living in the past or the future and are very inward focused. When someone chooses to focus on the positive they are more focused on being in gratitude. They are problem solvers and solution finders. They live in the moment and are outward focused.
When I am first meeting with a client I listen carefully to the words they use because they are a good indication of how they think and what they focus on. For instance, if they are saying things like, “He MADE me mad.” or “I HAD to do whatever for someone.” I know that they are living in a space of victim and being a martyr and are giving their power away and is an indication of how energywork can help them.
The truth is no one can MAKE you mad without your permission. The minute you give them permission you are also giving them your power. Why do you think your kids love to push your buttons so much? Subconsciously, we give away our power because they hit one of our sore spots and triggered our fear button, not enough button, feeling out of control button, or our irritation button. Then we habitually react to the situation and give it power to create negative energy. Becoming more aware of your thoughts, weaknesses and triggers allows you to step back and look at it with a better perspective. Then you are at choice and can take complete responsibility for how you feel act towards the situation. It will give you more power and insight to think of a positive solution, or if there isn’t an immediate solution you can choose to put it a place of neutrality in Gods hands. That way you are not using up all your energy living in fear, worry, and/or anger.
Also, unless someone is threatening you no one can MAKE you do anything. Usually the things we do that we say we HAVE to do are because we don’t want the consequences if we don’t. If we are doing something just to please someone else or to avoid a negative consequence we are still CHOOSING to do it. So if you are constantly being MADE to do things or HAVE to do things then I would analyze your motive for doing them. Are you giving your power away? Are you being a people pleaser at the expense of your own health and happiness? Are you reacting instead of acting proactively to the circumstances around you? Do you need to set some boundaries in your relationships? Do you need to shift your attitude around the tasks you are feeling MADE to do? Doing things because we HAVE TO will zap your energy and passion for life quick.
I currently have a client that is a great example of not being a victim and a martyr of your circumstances. This client has a very negative wife and depressed. She is always criticizing him. No matter what he does he can’t do anything right or please her in any way. She is open to seeing a counselor so he is hopeful that between that, the right medication, and showing her unconditional love she will begin to change and they can create a happy marriage. During this time he has made the choice that despite his wife’s attitude he is going to be happy. He is choosing to focus on what is working in his life instead of what isn’t. He understands that happiness comes from within and it isn’t his wife’s job to make him happy. He looks for and talks about the good things or even what he dreams his marriage will be some day when it is healed. He writes her love letters and focuses on who he knows she really is inside, not how she is currently behaving. Despite how she treats him he treats her like the daughter of God that she is. As he comes in each week I am amazed at how he is able to maintain a high vibration despite the circumstances that he is living in. He also understands how harmful it is to stuff his emotions so he comes on a weekly basis to clear his frustrations and things that come up so he isn’t harboring resentment or anger. What a powerful example he is being to his children by showing them that your circumstances don’t have to dictate your attitude. As he uses positive words, behaves in a positive respectful manner, and continues to create habits that will create a healthy marriage he can feel good about himself and that he did everything he could to make his marriage work. Then whether this marriage works out or not he won’t have any regrets because he gave it his all.
Now lets look at a few of the words we say that create low vibrational energy verses words that create high vibrational energy. This is called speaking the language of increase verses the language of decrease:
I’ll try———————-verses—————I will
I have to——————verses—————I get to
I can’t———————verses—————even though it won’t be perfect or I’ll work towards it
It’s hard——————verses—————-its challenging
I don’t have the $ ——verses—————I choose to spend my abundance on other things
I have (illness)———-verses—————-I am experiencing the symptoms of
As we look deeper into the power if the words you use, if you asked someone to do something for you which words would make you feel more secure? The response of, “I’ll try to” verses the response of “I will.” Obviously, if someone says, “I will” there is a lot better change of them coming through. Another example is, if I ask you to pick up a pen off the table there is no try. You either pick it up or you don’t. Now you might be saying what about those things that you do that you don’t know if you can or not but your willing to try them. Trying is definitely better than letting fear of failure get in your way but what about instead of trying to lose weight, your learning how to let your body release weight. (You always want to find what you’ve lost.) Or you’re working towards getting into a size smaller than you currently are. The words “I will”, “I’m learning how”, or “I’m working towards” definitely speak the possibility of success more than “I’ll try.”
Lets look at “I have to” verses “I get to.” If there is a task that you don’t want to do like unloading the dishwasher. Say out loud, “I HAVE to unload the dishwasher.” Now say, “I GET to unload the dishwasher.” Even though your still not super excited to unload the dishwasher, saying, “I get to” verses, “I have to” totally changes the energy around the task.
Then there’s the words “I can’t”. Now it’s a no brainer that the minute you say I can’t your brain believes you. So this is where you “get” to give yourself permission to make mistakes while your going through the learning curve. Now there are things that you can’t do obviously. As much as I have had dreams that I could, I can’t fly. However, if there is something I’m feeling inspired to do that is out of my comfort zone. I will be a lot more successful in my life if I give my permission to do it, even if there is a possibility of failure while you figure it out or increase your abilities and knowledge about how to do it successfully.
Listen to the how heavy the words, “Its hard” are. I workout with a great group of girls in the morning. Strengthening your core is very important to include in a workout, but is my LEAST favorite thing to do. Holding your body up in a side plank while balancing on the sides of your feet and your elbow with your other hand in the air for 90 seconds is not my favorite thing to do. However, my back is an area that is important to me to strengthen because of an injury I had when I was little. Notice I didn’t speak that I have back problems or claim that my back is weak. To speak about this exercise in the language of increase we have committed to say that planks are challenging and even fulfilling, not hard and it does feel like an accomplishement when they are done.
Continually having money problems? Scarcity mindset, and scarcity talk is a big reason why people continually attract to them just enough or don’t even attract enough money to get them though the month. An abundance mindset and talking in an abundant way is a powerful way to start attracting abundance to you. Even if you only have enough money to pay your bills with nothing left over saying, “I choose to spend my abundance on food, and electricity” creates a lot more possibilities than saying, “I can’t afford that” or worse, “I’m broke.”
Last but not least lets talk about an illnesses. The words “I have” means to claim or own. The minute you say, “I have cancer” or whatever the illness is, you are claiming it as part of you. Saying, “I have an illness is like welcoming someone into your home that wants to harm you and giving them a room to live in. When you say, “I’m experiencing the effects of or symptoms of…” whatever it is, it acknowledges that something is going on, but there is all the possibility in the world that it will heal or that you can overcome it.
I encourage you to really notice the words you say and the energy behind them. Do you speak the language of increase or decrease? Are you focused on the possibilities or the limitations? What is working or what isn’t working? Are you focused on all your blessings or what you lack? I would love to hear any experiences you may have that create different results just from using the language of increase verses the language of decrease.